Images in this picture are larger than they appear.
I can see Canada from my house.
No, this is not a picture from my house, I can’t afford to live up on this hill, but if I stood on a really tall ladder on top of my house (a 200′ ladder maybe) I could see Canada across the Strait of Juan de Fuca. Vancouver Island, home of Victoria BC and lots of trees, is a stone’s throw (a George Washington stone’s throw) from the humble village I call home.
See? The only thing between me and Canada is water, and a few laws preventing me from rowing my kayak over there on weekends. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
I have also pretended to be Canadian when I travel so that people don’t think I am an American jerk. (This has never been successful because I am not polite enough, don’t speak a second language, and think Celine Dion is overrated.) I have practiced talking like a Canadian and have even adopted a few Canadian mannerisms like saying, “Sorry” frequently (pronounced sOOOry in Canadian).
Now that we have established my bona fides, on to the guide.
Categories: Oh, Canada!
South of the Strait 
I find you somewhat believable.
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That’s how all great cults get their start. Hey, I ordered your short stories book yesterday. Looking forward to reading your shorts.
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You da man! Thanks for doubling my customer base.
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Wrong. 80% of Canadians think Celine Dion is overrated. 19% think it’s weird that she married that old guy and scienced up babies. The other 1% are part of her freakishly extended family.
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Maybe that’s why she moved to Vegas. I was going to say that I didn’t own a leather jacket as another way I’m spotted as an American, but I took the chance to ding Celine.
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Oh, and I can see Canada from my house!
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You don’t have to look as far as me.
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I glanced out my back door to see what claims to fame I may have overlooked. All I’ve got is my neighbors’ goat pen and a blackberry patch.
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Not everybody has goats for neighbors.
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You’re not the only nation who thinks Celine Dion is overrated…
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It is a small step for mankind. If we can all agree that Celine Dion is overrated, maybe world peace is just around the corner.
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Yes that and the fact that Miley Cyrus is a whore. We need global agreement on both those issues in order for world peace to kick in.
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