I can see Canada from my house.
No, this is not a picture from my house, I can’t afford to live up on this hill, but if I stood on a really tall ladder on top of my house (a 200′ ladder maybe) I could see Canada across the Strait of Juan de Fuca. Vancouver Island, home of Victoria BC and lots of trees, is a stone’s throw (a George Washington stone’s throw) from the humble village I call home.
I have also pretended to be Canadian when I travel so that people don’t think I am an American jerk. (This has never been successful because I am not polite enough, don’t speak a second language, and think Celine Dion is overrated.) I have practiced talking like a Canadian and have even adopted a few Canadian mannerisms like saying, “Sorry” frequently (pronounced sOOOry in Canadian).
Now that we have established my bona fides, on to the guide.
South of the Strait 
I find you somewhat believable.
LikeLike
That’s how all great cults get their start. Hey, I ordered your short stories book yesterday. Looking forward to reading your shorts.
LikeLike
You da man! Thanks for doubling my customer base.
LikeLike
Wrong. 80% of Canadians think Celine Dion is overrated. 19% think it’s weird that she married that old guy and scienced up babies. The other 1% are part of her freakishly extended family.
LikeLike
Maybe that’s why she moved to Vegas. I was going to say that I didn’t own a leather jacket as another way I’m spotted as an American, but I took the chance to ding Celine.
LikeLike
Oh, and I can see Canada from my house!
LikeLike
You don’t have to look as far as me.
LikeLike
I glanced out my back door to see what claims to fame I may have overlooked. All I’ve got is my neighbors’ goat pen and a blackberry patch.
LikeLike
Not everybody has goats for neighbors.
LikeLike
You’re not the only nation who thinks Celine Dion is overrated…
LikeLike
It is a small step for mankind. If we can all agree that Celine Dion is overrated, maybe world peace is just around the corner.
LikeLike
Yes that and the fact that Miley Cyrus is a whore. We need global agreement on both those issues in order for world peace to kick in.
LikeLike